WITH PHOTOS! Chosen Places: Small Town Nowhere, England

Cait Flanders takes us to the hills.

Mar 11, 2025

You ever read someone’s writing and think, “they get it”? That’s how I felt about

when I first read her writing. She has such an appreciation for the inherent value of little things. She pays attention! She’s thoughtful of her surroundings! She cares about hedgehogs! And I immediately wanted to be her friend.

You’ll probably feel the same reading The Lighthouse, The Year of Less, or Adventures in Opting Out. Her writing always leaves me wondering how to be a bit better to others and a bit better to myself.

Cait, take us away.

Where have you lived so far?

Ok great, let’s start with the most complicated question, haha. I’ve been on the move since I was a kid. I was born and raised in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, but had lived in 7 different homes (and neighbourhoods) by the age of 8. We stayed put for 10 years or so after that, but then I started moving around as an adult and basically never stopped. I’ve lived in Victoria, Toronto, Greater Vancouver, Squamish, then was a nomad for a few years, before eventually making the decision to immigrate to the UK in 2022. In total, I have lived in 24 different homes. I define “lived” as staying for at least 30 days (there have been a few 30-day stints, going back to childhood). Since arriving in the UK, I’ve lived in 3 different homes: an Airbnb in Edinburgh after I first landed; then an Airbnb in North Yorkshire for a few months; then in May 2022, I rented a house in a small town I like to call: the middle of nowhere. It’s in the North East of England. I’m still living here now, which is a record for me. Literally. This is the longest I’ve stayed anywhere in my adult life.

How did you end up where you currently are? What drew you to this place initially?

There are two different answers to this question, depending on which “place” we are talking about: the UK or this small town. I first came over to the UK in 2018, and it only took a few weeks of traveling around solo for me to think: I might like to live here one day. Then I came back and spent 6 months here in 2019 and knew I wanted to stay. I loved all the things the tourism board would tell you to love: the history, the castles, their appreciation for arts/culture/books, and the rolling green hills (and all the sheepies!). I also loved the pace of life, the culture around work (there’s a much better work/life balance here than in North America), and the ability to travel by train (not an option in most of Canada). But thanks to the internet, I was fortunate to have a number of friends in cities across the UK, so I got more of a local experience than many tourists might. I stayed in a few different flats in London, visited friends on the coast and out in the country, and was taken on hikes in England, Wales and Scotland. From the surprising turquoise water to the mountains (yes, they have mountains here!), I was able to see a little bit of everything—and I loved it. I also visited family here on my first trip: my grandma’s last surviving sister. My dad’s parents were born here and got married here, before they immigrated to Canada. In the end, I was able to move over on a UK Ancestry Visa.

As for how I ended up in the middle of nowhere in the North East? Well, it’s the most classic story of all: I met someone. ☺️

I always knew I wouldn’t live down south, though. If anything, when I first considered moving here, I imagined I’d live in Edinburgh for a while, then end up in one of the mountain towns in Scotland. But I met my partner before I moved over, and decided I’d try living near him so we could spend time together and see if our relationship grew. That’s ultimately how I found this small town. I’d never heard of it (lots of Brits haven’t) but it checked my two boxes of (1) being within 30 minutes of him and (2) being in an area that felt walkable. This is one of the only towns I was interested in. The house is what sold me. When I first saw the rental listing online, I thought: omg, THE LIGHT! From the pictures, I loved how bright it looked. And seeing it in-person, I could not believe how much natural light poured into each room. My experience of the UK showed me that most homes had small windows and felt quite dark. I didn’t want to live in a dark home—especially when I was already taking a huge chance on myself and my new life and possible relationship here. The story I told myself was, “the light will be good for my mental health.” Spoiler alert: I was right.

What’s a small, everyday joy that comes from being there?

So many things. On my daily walks, I still marvel at the architecture—the old stone houses and bridges, the castles and ruins, and the tight paths between buildings. The signs which state historic facts going back almost 1,000 years. And the accents/local phrases are fun to try to decipher too. (Though most people I chat with say the same about me. It’s funny being the foreigner.) I also love walking by the sheepies every day—and sometimes horses and cows too. But I get the most joy from all the animals that live in my garden. Specifically, the wild hedgehogs. When I first found one in my garden in 2023, I was told I could buy it a hedgehog house to live in. Best impulse purchase of my life! For two years, that hedgie stayed and had two sets of babies (called hoglets!). I watched them hangout every evening in the summer/fall. She died last year, but at least one of her babies is hibernating in the house right now. I’m excited for it to wake up and come back out, so I can follow along with its next adventure.

…it really doesn’t get more British than this!

In what moments does this place really feel like home?

It probably won’t surprise you to learn I don’t have a typical definition for the word home. I could list off examples that show what it means to know this place or be known by people here. But years ago, I realized I am my home. And I feel most at home in my body when I am showing up as my full self. When I say the truest thing. When I set out to explore new places and move at my own pace. When I sing and dance and smile and laugh freely. When I ask big questions and engage in interesting conversations. When I say what I want or need, and own my preferences. If I’m doing these things, I feel at home. As it turns out, I just happen to feel more at home here than I have anywhere else. I don’t know why, but it’s true.

Has this place changed how you see yourself or affected your priorities in life? Do you feel different—mentally, emotionally, physically—since moving there?

Can I just answer yes to all of these questions!? I could probably write an essay (or two or three) on each of the 5 topics you’ve brought up here. I’ve gone through so many growth experiences since moving to the UK and into this house. Some have been entirely personal. Some have been relational. And some are personal, but are only happening because I’m in a romantic partnership. If I had to sum it up, I would say: I take better care of myself here than I have anywhere else I’ve lived. I care about myself and my future in ways I haven’t before. I have good boundaries and healthier relationships with pretty much everyone in my life. I’m also on what feels like a very long journey of my identity shifting from being someone who has been independent for most of her adult life into someone who is partnered (and partnered with someone who has kids). That journey has brought up my past, my trauma, and commitment issues I didn’t realize I had. It has shown me all the reasons I’ve probably been on the move for so much of my life, and slowing down and staying still was PAINFUL at first. But now, this is what I want: to stay. In the UK, in this relationship, and on this path. Moving here has shifted many of my priorities (I crave stability and consistency, especially around things like my home, my relationships, and my work/income). I never imagined I’d live quite like this, or want the things I do now… but I do. This is exactly what I want for myself now.

How long do you see yourself staying in this place?

That’s a complicated question! Because it’s not entirely in my control. Let’s assume the UK lets me renew my visa and stay beyond 2027 (when I’m currently set to be kicked out lol). I want to live in the UK, and can imagine staying indefinitely. But I don’t know how long I will live in this exact place. At some point in the future, my partner and I will move in together. And later in life, I could see us moving more north or even into Scotland. So I have immigration, our relationship, the kids, and our work to consider. And time and money! Right now, I’m just trying to enjoy what’s true today and see it for what it is: the first chapter of my life in the UK.

What is community like there and how do you see yourself as part of it?

If we’re talking about the town, it’s small and truly in the middle of nowhere, so I wouldn’t say it has one big identity for people to form a community around. Instead, what I see are neighbours who stop to chat and help each other out. I’m definitely one of them. I know people’s names. I help one neighbour with her garden. I say hello to everyone’s dogs when I see them out on walks. I let the cat who lives next door come over for a cuddle, when she scratches at the window. Her owners give me Christmas cards labelled “To Auntie Cait” from the cats. And my guy at the local British Hedgehog Preservation Society (yes, that’s a thing) says I’m doing my part to keep them going. (If I could include this reference in my visa renewal application, I would!)

Expanding outward, I have a coffee shop and a few bookshops I like to support. I know a woman who started a new book festival three years ago, and I’ve gone every year and am building some community there. Last year, I joined a coworking group of mostly creatives, which was a gift to me—and puts me in situations where I can potentially support others (there aren’t many writers in the group, but even just being an active participant in a good conversation can inspire someone). And it’s proving to take a very long time to make local friends… but my partner and I are friends with two other couples, and I’ve found community in the fact that 3 of the 4 of them are also foreigners. We also all love to hike.

After spending most of my life on the move, I wouldn’t say that building a local community necessarily comes naturally to me. It’s been a slow start. But I’ve just looked for what I value and love most: nature, books, creativity, people, and animals. I’m here to support all of that

Where people can find you on the internet?

I write a newsletter called The Lighthouse, which I like to say is deeply reflective and intentionally lighthearted. There’s enough darkness online and in real life. I want to hangout in the light.

You can find the Chosen Places series here. Subscribe to get every edition, every time.