I do believe Snoots, Cooper, and Link all were beneficiaries of your tenacity the year. You tenaciously held on to that truck you were being dragged behind! And don’t you forget it 😄
Hey, another writer in Substack has a “leave a tip” button on her newsletter. Maybe you could put one up for a couple of months? I’d bet some subscribers, myself included, would send a little extra while you’re in between gigs! Would that feel too weird? In any case, thanks for sharing honestly here—I know I’ve wasted plenty of free time worrying when I could have been enjoying things. Or, like, organizing the drawers.
Dec 11, 2023·edited Dec 11, 2023Liked by Kelton Wright
I may have missed it... I've been skimming recently, my eyes are hurting from too much screen time on my phone... that is a thing. What was/is your dream job? You don't have to get specific (I'm being nosy, busted.) Were you writing? Modeling? Making IG videos? Doing photography?
I've been where you are so many times it's painful to think about. Mine has been due to my own burning out and needing breaks. I imagine my breaks will be a few months, and then start freaking out. The "what if's" surface. Next, run around like a lunatic -- updating, searching, researching, emailing prospect jobs I dream of getting (never mind whether I'm qualified or not); and finally either running back to my profession, or I take some yuck job and justify by saying to myself "well, it's money coming in... something is better than nothing" followed by "I gotta get out of here, what am I doing with my life?" And so the story goes.
Another issue is routine. It takes at least a month after leaving a job (again, my own demise from burnout) to get myself to stop wandering around the house, binging Netflix, grazing the kitchen, working out for two or three hours a day, and struggling with anxiety due to burnout, lack of sleep and the "what if's."
I hope you are more mentally prepared than I am and consciously grateful for the free time. That's another thing... I start being grateful after I'm back working and stressing out thinking why wasn't I grateful?
Yeah, now I'm talking to myself.
Stay healthy and in the moment.... and as my mother drilled into me for 52 years "Everything will work out the way it should, keep your eyes and ears open, and think good thoughts." I miss my mom.
Sounds just like my dad. Re: my career, I work in content. I help brands figure out their voice, their brand strategy, how to build content and content departments, and I just happened to be doing it for something I really believe in and loved working on. So hopefully that comes back.
play with bubbles made me laugh out loud. i wish i could connect you with my friend terri. she is a badass (she was the women's enduro pro mtb national champ in 2016 or 2017...after only mountain biking a handful of years). she is an accomplished aerialist, former college athlete, snowboards, has a trampoline in her backyard, etc. she just had her second kid a year ago. she and her husband decided in their late 30s to have kiddos because they'd had so many adventures, and wanted a different kind of adventure. on thursday, we rode in the parade of lights for our town, and they had their kids riding on their bikes with them. anyway, i say all of this because terri has continued to be a badass with two small kids in tow. i am so certain that all of YOU will continue to endure and be immutable with kiddos, too. terri is softer now, takes her kids to music class and sometimes posts videos about being a mom on her instagram story, but she still rides her bike every week and does jumps. so, sure, she has changed, but it was like an addition, rather than a subtraction of her.
it's too bad you live far away because i feel like many of your paid readers would be like, hey i'm coming over to help dry wall and bringing a shitton of soup you can freeze.
LOL, my best advice to a new mom is to stay far away from any sources like "the Bump" or "What to Expect..." They're terrible and outdated and all based on the premise of parenting with fear and losing yourself completely in your child. They're awful! Thankfully you know we are surrounded by some bad ass mamas in this area who I'm certain will be an inspiration to you of all you CAN do with a baby/child in tow!
Also, Prof Emily Oster @profemilyoster on Instagram and Rebecca over at Evidence Based Birth (who is an old blog friend of mine from around 2008!) are both FANTASTIC resources for evidence based, non-histrionic advice about pregnancy and parenting. Think - using data to reassure you of how much you CAN do instead of twisting words and studies to instill fear about all of things.
I just realized many thousands of people follow you when I sent you a DM on Insta about a local mamas group that’s helpful to join for free/cheap baby/kiddo stuff. 😂 Since you’re careful about not outing your location I’ve tried to be as well once I realized we lived close. Just laughing at myself for not realizing you’ve got such an awesome following! Makes sense because your writing is awesome. 🤩
This made me smile, as I always think I will accomplish so much more with my free time than I ever manage to do. I'm behind on my reading, sounds like congrats are in order. I wanted to share Heather's https://trailmixadventures.substack.com/ site with you. You might enjoy her family's adventures in the great outdoors and pick up a few tips. I hope you enjoy the remainder of your downtime in December! 💜
Sounds like a pretty tenacious reframe of what could have been a season of gloom and stress into one of satisfying and achievable goals! And go ski tracker! 🤞my first day will be Friday… so I’d better get to clearing out the wax zone so I can scrape off the storage wax!
Hi Kelton. Sorry, I didn't know how to contact you short of doing this. I'm about to post something that laments the fact that you need a permit for roadkill, and I remembered I got that from one of your pieces. If you give me a link I'll put it in the piece. Least I could do as a free subscriber...
lol I feel like you’re always inside my brain. This year, freelance was particularly slow and I had wayyy too much time to sit around worrying about the future--which I do quite well as it is when I’m more occupied (nbd 💅). “Productivity” is something I really wrestle with as a “value” (I do not believe in it in the traditional American sense), but it’s also a heavily engrained concept inside my pea brain from my family and society. So most of the time when I have downtime, I have to ask myself “what do you WANT to be doing?” And if it’s “watching one hour of boygenius interviews on YouTube” then I try not to overthink it and allow it to be time well spent -- if that’s how I wanted to spend it, anyway. Sitting in uncertainty is not easy, and I will always hate it, but I’ve learned a lot from it (and continue to), so this was a great reminder that we’re both doing a good job (🥇🏆).
Been there! When I'm busy, all I want is free time to catch my breath and rest and think and plan and do all those tasks I never have time for otherwise. Then in the free time, I worry a lot. Sometimes the hardest thing is just to be.
I agree that routine helps, doing some work (like cleaning or other projects) each day, focusing on each day as it comes.
Your thoughts are understandable and relatable. Me and everyone I know, in Europe, would have some degree of worry if they were left with out a job. The sweet spot is to know that you will be working in two months and you have nothing to do on this regard. Then you can enjoy your time.
However, when thinking of the realistic risk — being unemployed for a couple of months — you realize (in most cases) that it is not the end of the world, and even more, might reveal something valuable. This I find freeing.
I do believe Snoots, Cooper, and Link all were beneficiaries of your tenacity the year. You tenaciously held on to that truck you were being dragged behind! And don’t you forget it 😄
OK, OK, you're right.
Hey, another writer in Substack has a “leave a tip” button on her newsletter. Maybe you could put one up for a couple of months? I’d bet some subscribers, myself included, would send a little extra while you’re in between gigs! Would that feel too weird? In any case, thanks for sharing honestly here—I know I’ve wasted plenty of free time worrying when I could have been enjoying things. Or, like, organizing the drawers.
That's a sweet notion!
I may have missed it... I've been skimming recently, my eyes are hurting from too much screen time on my phone... that is a thing. What was/is your dream job? You don't have to get specific (I'm being nosy, busted.) Were you writing? Modeling? Making IG videos? Doing photography?
I've been where you are so many times it's painful to think about. Mine has been due to my own burning out and needing breaks. I imagine my breaks will be a few months, and then start freaking out. The "what if's" surface. Next, run around like a lunatic -- updating, searching, researching, emailing prospect jobs I dream of getting (never mind whether I'm qualified or not); and finally either running back to my profession, or I take some yuck job and justify by saying to myself "well, it's money coming in... something is better than nothing" followed by "I gotta get out of here, what am I doing with my life?" And so the story goes.
Another issue is routine. It takes at least a month after leaving a job (again, my own demise from burnout) to get myself to stop wandering around the house, binging Netflix, grazing the kitchen, working out for two or three hours a day, and struggling with anxiety due to burnout, lack of sleep and the "what if's."
I hope you are more mentally prepared than I am and consciously grateful for the free time. That's another thing... I start being grateful after I'm back working and stressing out thinking why wasn't I grateful?
Yeah, now I'm talking to myself.
Stay healthy and in the moment.... and as my mother drilled into me for 52 years "Everything will work out the way it should, keep your eyes and ears open, and think good thoughts." I miss my mom.
Sounds just like my dad. Re: my career, I work in content. I help brands figure out their voice, their brand strategy, how to build content and content departments, and I just happened to be doing it for something I really believe in and loved working on. So hopefully that comes back.
I hope it comes back for you too.
"and a girl can only rest so much before she goblins" girl...🙏🙏🙏
“Like many good Americans, I spend it worrying.”
You speak the simple truth constantly, and I am so glad to hear it each week. Thank you!
play with bubbles made me laugh out loud. i wish i could connect you with my friend terri. she is a badass (she was the women's enduro pro mtb national champ in 2016 or 2017...after only mountain biking a handful of years). she is an accomplished aerialist, former college athlete, snowboards, has a trampoline in her backyard, etc. she just had her second kid a year ago. she and her husband decided in their late 30s to have kiddos because they'd had so many adventures, and wanted a different kind of adventure. on thursday, we rode in the parade of lights for our town, and they had their kids riding on their bikes with them. anyway, i say all of this because terri has continued to be a badass with two small kids in tow. i am so certain that all of YOU will continue to endure and be immutable with kiddos, too. terri is softer now, takes her kids to music class and sometimes posts videos about being a mom on her instagram story, but she still rides her bike every week and does jumps. so, sure, she has changed, but it was like an addition, rather than a subtraction of her.
it's too bad you live far away because i feel like many of your paid readers would be like, hey i'm coming over to help dry wall and bringing a shitton of soup you can freeze.
An addition and not a subtraction - love that.
LOL, my best advice to a new mom is to stay far away from any sources like "the Bump" or "What to Expect..." They're terrible and outdated and all based on the premise of parenting with fear and losing yourself completely in your child. They're awful! Thankfully you know we are surrounded by some bad ass mamas in this area who I'm certain will be an inspiration to you of all you CAN do with a baby/child in tow!
thank you for saying this!!
Also, Prof Emily Oster @profemilyoster on Instagram and Rebecca over at Evidence Based Birth (who is an old blog friend of mine from around 2008!) are both FANTASTIC resources for evidence based, non-histrionic advice about pregnancy and parenting. Think - using data to reassure you of how much you CAN do instead of twisting words and studies to instill fear about all of things.
Been reading Oster for years now. Honestly I think she played a role in convincing me it wouldn't be a ceaseless nightmare.
I just realized many thousands of people follow you when I sent you a DM on Insta about a local mamas group that’s helpful to join for free/cheap baby/kiddo stuff. 😂 Since you’re careful about not outing your location I’ve tried to be as well once I realized we lived close. Just laughing at myself for not realizing you’ve got such an awesome following! Makes sense because your writing is awesome. 🤩
This made me smile, as I always think I will accomplish so much more with my free time than I ever manage to do. I'm behind on my reading, sounds like congrats are in order. I wanted to share Heather's https://trailmixadventures.substack.com/ site with you. You might enjoy her family's adventures in the great outdoors and pick up a few tips. I hope you enjoy the remainder of your downtime in December! 💜
Oh lovely - thank you!!
Sounds like a pretty tenacious reframe of what could have been a season of gloom and stress into one of satisfying and achievable goals! And go ski tracker! 🤞my first day will be Friday… so I’d better get to clearing out the wax zone so I can scrape off the storage wax!
oh god, waxing - how bad do my skis need to be before I give in and take care of them
Hi Kelton. Sorry, I didn't know how to contact you short of doing this. I'm about to post something that laments the fact that you need a permit for roadkill, and I remembered I got that from one of your pieces. If you give me a link I'll put it in the piece. Least I could do as a free subscriber...
If you tap the logo at the top, you can see and search the whole Shangrilogs archive
Thanks Heather, but I didn't remember what the piece was called. Wonder if I type "roadkill" into the search engine if that will help me?
HEY!! It woiked!! Thanks Heather!
Wow! What great support from the readers/subscribers. Compliments to your style of writing and your open authentic self!
This song has helped me in times like that: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_7Zt9ymsCho
lol I feel like you’re always inside my brain. This year, freelance was particularly slow and I had wayyy too much time to sit around worrying about the future--which I do quite well as it is when I’m more occupied (nbd 💅). “Productivity” is something I really wrestle with as a “value” (I do not believe in it in the traditional American sense), but it’s also a heavily engrained concept inside my pea brain from my family and society. So most of the time when I have downtime, I have to ask myself “what do you WANT to be doing?” And if it’s “watching one hour of boygenius interviews on YouTube” then I try not to overthink it and allow it to be time well spent -- if that’s how I wanted to spend it, anyway. Sitting in uncertainty is not easy, and I will always hate it, but I’ve learned a lot from it (and continue to), so this was a great reminder that we’re both doing a good job (🥇🏆).
so hard to figure out what I want to be doing!!!!
Been there! When I'm busy, all I want is free time to catch my breath and rest and think and plan and do all those tasks I never have time for otherwise. Then in the free time, I worry a lot. Sometimes the hardest thing is just to be.
I agree that routine helps, doing some work (like cleaning or other projects) each day, focusing on each day as it comes.
Your thoughts are understandable and relatable. Me and everyone I know, in Europe, would have some degree of worry if they were left with out a job. The sweet spot is to know that you will be working in two months and you have nothing to do on this regard. Then you can enjoy your time.
However, when thinking of the realistic risk — being unemployed for a couple of months — you realize (in most cases) that it is not the end of the world, and even more, might reveal something valuable. This I find freeing.
Best of luck ✌🏼
Here's hoping the job actually unpauses! In the meantime, all I can do is enjoy myself.