Oh, my. This is a terrific piece of writing. I don't know why hearing about your trials was so funny but it was and that is a tribute to you as a writer. Maybe it's vicarious enjoyment: "sure glad I didn't have to go through that to write a great essay." I'm especially glad that your sense of humor survived, or maybe was been resurrected on your return. May you have many future "enlightening," if less pungent, adventures and share them with us. Thanks
My dog deployed bear spray in my tiny apartment in Alaska years ago. Thankfully we were both able to leave the apartment for hours afterwards while it cleared out but it was still rough. To this day he’s still the only one of us who has used it!
I am shocked -- SHOCKED -- by this quote: I am guilty of this, thinking such vain things as “the essay I write after this trip is gonna be so fucking moving.”
I have never for a second been guilty of doing such a thing. #bigfatlie
Honestly, us writers look at every single situation, no matter how terrible, and part of our mind goes "Ooooh, this is gonna make some good content!"
I love this. That urge to always find a “lesson” or be transformed somehow is something that I also think about often. It reminds me of a quote I read somewhere. “Everywhere I go, there I am.” We can’t escape ourselves. Not that this was your intention, but I trust you get what I mean.
Imho, you were transformed. You just don't have a label for it....yet. Your Mama is gorgeous as another has already said. I'm glad you went. I laughed at your discomfort (sorry to say) and I am more and more convinced that you write like I wish I could. Thank you. PS, ....building advice....I really want to dissuade you from the notion you voiced last year about putting tile at the top of the stairs in your cabin. Tile and grout are inflexible and will crack when(not if) the floor flexes. Peace and thank you, Gray
I love your mama and would pack in with her anywhere! And love you for enduring it with her, and for this line: "that sci-fi mind control device we still weirdly insist on just calling a phone."
That picture of your mama. She’s just gorgeous.
Frances McDormand vibes. I hope this is my final form before I leave this earth
Lol one can only hope
I agree!
Oh, my. This is a terrific piece of writing. I don't know why hearing about your trials was so funny but it was and that is a tribute to you as a writer. Maybe it's vicarious enjoyment: "sure glad I didn't have to go through that to write a great essay." I'm especially glad that your sense of humor survived, or maybe was been resurrected on your return. May you have many future "enlightening," if less pungent, adventures and share them with us. Thanks
"if less pungent" one can only hope!!
My dog deployed bear spray in my tiny apartment in Alaska years ago. Thankfully we were both able to leave the apartment for hours afterwards while it cleared out but it was still rough. To this day he’s still the only one of us who has used it!
Lol, amazing.
🐻💨🔥🍑🐴🏞️📵🏕️🤦♂️🤣
oh man, Kelton, I absolutely love your stories!
Thank you!!
A wonderful and descriptive soliloquy that makes me both happy and relived that I passed on this trip. Been there, done that (with the same woman).
You really lucked out on this one.
I am shocked -- SHOCKED -- by this quote: I am guilty of this, thinking such vain things as “the essay I write after this trip is gonna be so fucking moving.”
I have never for a second been guilty of doing such a thing. #bigfatlie
Honestly, us writers look at every single situation, no matter how terrible, and part of our mind goes "Ooooh, this is gonna make some good content!"
Lol, it's so true!
We're going to be hiking in Alaska for a few weeks, so will definitely have bears on the brain...
You'd have better luck with throwing stars than bear spray.
DON'T YOU DARE TAKE AWAY MY PROTECTION TOTEM NO MATTER IF IT'S REALLY ONLY MAKING ME TASTIER FOR THE BEAR!!!
😂😂😂🐻🚫
I love this. That urge to always find a “lesson” or be transformed somehow is something that I also think about often. It reminds me of a quote I read somewhere. “Everywhere I go, there I am.” We can’t escape ourselves. Not that this was your intention, but I trust you get what I mean.
That is actually my dad's favorite quote 😂 though I think he says it "wherever ya go, there ya are."
What a closing line... I devoured this piece, Kelton. Thank you for sharing your stories with us. And the picture of your mom. 😍☺️
Ah thank you, Cait! I'm honored you liked it.
Imho, you were transformed. You just don't have a label for it....yet. Your Mama is gorgeous as another has already said. I'm glad you went. I laughed at your discomfort (sorry to say) and I am more and more convinced that you write like I wish I could. Thank you. PS, ....building advice....I really want to dissuade you from the notion you voiced last year about putting tile at the top of the stairs in your cabin. Tile and grout are inflexible and will crack when(not if) the floor flexes. Peace and thank you, Gray
Good advice!
That thing about never being more present and yet also not coming out miraculously transformed: yes yes yes yes yes.
Same wavelength 👯♀️
Oh Kelton!
lol
Your mom has that “this ain’t my first pack trip” expression, and based on her story that you posted a couple of weeks ago, we know why.
She's been around the stump a few times!
I love your mama and would pack in with her anywhere! And love you for enduring it with her, and for this line: "that sci-fi mind control device we still weirdly insist on just calling a phone."
Yes! Came to the comments to say that same line 💯 🏆
Funny + beautiful: a perfect Shangrilogs essay.
Thank you!
I laughed, I cried.
And I survived. 😂
I’m catching up on substacks on a hiking trip rest day and this was perfect in every way. Thank you!