I think about this a lot too. I grew up in a small town where everyone already knew.me and friends plus fily were baked in. I moved to Sedona which is rather transient and despite it's size, one doesn't run into people you know. I work at home, hate 40 hour work weeks, am too earnest but hate gossip. I'm an introvert, so I know I need to meet one cool extravert and then all of their friends and I will be set up. I feel your pain. Hopefully in time they will come to see how cool you really are and get past their insecurities.
Ah, the old challenge of making friends once you’re finished school and/or college. As painful and difficult to navigate in huge cities as it is in towns of 150 people, I’m sad to say!
And only exacerbated by remote working and the freelance lifestyle. Oh well, guess I’ll just get another cat!
I can relate, even though I've never moved to a small town. I listened to this podcast recently (https://www.happinesslab.fm/season-1-episodes/mistakenly-seeking-solitude ) and then when I was out walking had an older man (guessing 80s?) stop and chat with me. Because I had listened to the podcast I was like "ok, making connections like this is good for both of us" so I stayed and chatted until I had to go to work. Fast forward a few days and he shows up again...and now he asks me out. Then I ended up feeling bad and also worried that he might be stalking me in my little walk-alone-in-nature space because he had clearly looked me up on social, found my photos and identified locations for some of them. It made me realize that though my nature is to smile at people and be kind, I stopped doing it in my 20s and 30s because it so often led to unwanted sexual advances. Now in my 50s this hasn't happened for at least a decade so it caught me off guard when it did! Sigh. I want to be friendly, make friends, give friendships a chance to happen outside of work and yet...humans are a challenge.
I just moved to a small town (closer to ~2500) and so much of this resonates. Love your writing, hate 40 hour work weeks, and here's to making friends.
Such a perfect post for me to start with just having met you in AHP's newsletter! Not the same since I went from one ocean to another, but I moved to LA from Chicago 6 months before the pandemic so that was all the time I had to build a network before getting locked inside my studio apartment for a year so I still really feel you on some of that loneliness.
Really enjoyed it. I lived in Santa Monica for 15 years before moving back to rural western Pennsylvania and a town of 4000 people. It took me years to start making (and discovering) new friends with similar interests. It took several years just adjusting to the culture shock after leaving a metro area of 16 million to live in a town of 4000. This piece really reasonated with me, as I went through a similar process. I worked in advertising as a writer, and it took me awhile to find a new voice and start writing for myself after moving here. I'd stopped writing once I moved here, but slowly returned to it as I developed a fresh appreciation for where I live.
I totally relate to this. My boyfriend now fiance just moved to Colorado last January from the east coast. I work from home so never see or talk to anyone haha and his job is all older men with families not really looking to hangout and the one younger kid did come to our house once couldn't hold his liquor and so we had to take care of him haha my sister and her husband live here so we have them and some of his family which is nice but sometimes you want your own people/friends to go be social with and moving to a place where you don't know anyone work from home during a pandemic at 30 isn't the easiest time to find friends! I'm still working on the courage to put myself out there and see if I can find any! Good luck on your journey!
Love this! I live in Ireland which is definitely a pond. A layoff pre-covid, some losses and Covid has left me in need of a nudge like this. Thank you!
Not sure if you remember, you probably don’t because you’ve got a lot going on but I too recently moved. I think you and I would be friends if we lived close to each other for sure. I just recently started talking to my neighbors and realized it’s hard to be vulnerable and put yourself out there. My crutch is my sister-in-law and her husband live close. Stupid crutch.
I think about this a lot too. I grew up in a small town where everyone already knew.me and friends plus fily were baked in. I moved to Sedona which is rather transient and despite it's size, one doesn't run into people you know. I work at home, hate 40 hour work weeks, am too earnest but hate gossip. I'm an introvert, so I know I need to meet one cool extravert and then all of their friends and I will be set up. I feel your pain. Hopefully in time they will come to see how cool you really are and get past their insecurities.
Ah, the old challenge of making friends once you’re finished school and/or college. As painful and difficult to navigate in huge cities as it is in towns of 150 people, I’m sad to say!
And only exacerbated by remote working and the freelance lifestyle. Oh well, guess I’ll just get another cat!
That was very, very good.
I can relate, even though I've never moved to a small town. I listened to this podcast recently (https://www.happinesslab.fm/season-1-episodes/mistakenly-seeking-solitude ) and then when I was out walking had an older man (guessing 80s?) stop and chat with me. Because I had listened to the podcast I was like "ok, making connections like this is good for both of us" so I stayed and chatted until I had to go to work. Fast forward a few days and he shows up again...and now he asks me out. Then I ended up feeling bad and also worried that he might be stalking me in my little walk-alone-in-nature space because he had clearly looked me up on social, found my photos and identified locations for some of them. It made me realize that though my nature is to smile at people and be kind, I stopped doing it in my 20s and 30s because it so often led to unwanted sexual advances. Now in my 50s this hasn't happened for at least a decade so it caught me off guard when it did! Sigh. I want to be friendly, make friends, give friendships a chance to happen outside of work and yet...humans are a challenge.
I just moved to a small town (closer to ~2500) and so much of this resonates. Love your writing, hate 40 hour work weeks, and here's to making friends.
Such a perfect post for me to start with just having met you in AHP's newsletter! Not the same since I went from one ocean to another, but I moved to LA from Chicago 6 months before the pandemic so that was all the time I had to build a network before getting locked inside my studio apartment for a year so I still really feel you on some of that loneliness.
Really enjoyed it. I lived in Santa Monica for 15 years before moving back to rural western Pennsylvania and a town of 4000 people. It took me years to start making (and discovering) new friends with similar interests. It took several years just adjusting to the culture shock after leaving a metro area of 16 million to live in a town of 4000. This piece really reasonated with me, as I went through a similar process. I worked in advertising as a writer, and it took me awhile to find a new voice and start writing for myself after moving here. I'd stopped writing once I moved here, but slowly returned to it as I developed a fresh appreciation for where I live.
I totally relate to this. My boyfriend now fiance just moved to Colorado last January from the east coast. I work from home so never see or talk to anyone haha and his job is all older men with families not really looking to hangout and the one younger kid did come to our house once couldn't hold his liquor and so we had to take care of him haha my sister and her husband live here so we have them and some of his family which is nice but sometimes you want your own people/friends to go be social with and moving to a place where you don't know anyone work from home during a pandemic at 30 isn't the easiest time to find friends! I'm still working on the courage to put myself out there and see if I can find any! Good luck on your journey!
Love this! I live in Ireland which is definitely a pond. A layoff pre-covid, some losses and Covid has left me in need of a nudge like this. Thank you!
Not sure if you remember, you probably don’t because you’ve got a lot going on but I too recently moved. I think you and I would be friends if we lived close to each other for sure. I just recently started talking to my neighbors and realized it’s hard to be vulnerable and put yourself out there. My crutch is my sister-in-law and her husband live close. Stupid crutch.
This is my favorite one yet!