I listened to “These Precious Days” and fell in love with Ann Patchett, with her words, and her wit, and her heart. If your library offers audiobooks I think it would be worthwhile to listen to her narrate it. Or borrow the audiobook “This is the Story of a Happy Marriage.” More excellent essays in that one.
I’m on the lower (lowest?) end of the income brackets in my 55+ community and I feel it all of the time. My friends here don’t flaunt their relative wealth, but seeing their things and hearing of their many travels can be hard. Our budget opened up a little at the end of the year, so I started buying things like kitchen towels just because I wanted something new. Your essay makes me pause and wonder if those things truly are what I want. Something along the lines of, if I can’t go on an Alaskan cruise am I really okay with new kitchen towels? How many new kitchen towels would equal a cruise?
Happy New Year to you, and to Mr. Cooper and his friends.
My bookshelves are full, and three piles of books have accumulated nearby. So I resolved to reduce them by half this week.
I selected 8 books, and carried them to the car, feeling accomplished. But my wife grabbed two and stashed them in the laundry.
At the donation box, I dropped my 6 books in, feeling like I was abandoning a pet. Then I was overcome with second thoughts, and pulled back 2 books, and stood there re-reading favorite passages.
In all, I gave away only 4 books, and I miss them already. (Maybe I’ll find another copy at a used bookstore someday.) Robert
I love this reminder that less is more.... to see what you have anew.... rotate where you have your vases or paintings so you actually "see" them again because they are in a new place.... I'm going to the liquor store to get boxes so I can curate my closet of clothes I never wear anymore due to my taste, or I've outgrown them and I know I'm not going to be a size 6 again! (wishful thinking). I have tons of shoes for business travel - now that I'm retired - I'm not wearing them.... so out they go to the free bin. I've already purged books - but could do a second round. I know I'm not going to read most of them again. (But I can't seem to give up the complete works of Mark Twain that I did read in order once).
I also like your exceptions list... anything too rigid never works. My word for the year is "Be Curious" or "Wondering... So, thinking as I learn new skills - I wonder what I need to change to start to master this skill, or "I wonder why someone said that"... to ask more questions and not make assumptions... so I can add to my list "I wonder what it would be like to do without this... how would it really change my life" or "I wonder if I really need this or just want it? Is there something else I can use?" Words have power and I'm loving the idea of thinking this way and combining it with doing more with less. Thanks, as always, for provoking deeper thinking!
Baby stuff is such a scam. There is so much crap you're encouraged to buy and you buy it because not buying it means you don't want the best for your kids? We never got a crib just a pack and play with a mattress and it was the best decision ever. Never did up a baby room because we didn't have the room. There is so much stuff you can rent (babyquip) or buy gently used on FB marketplace. For clothes too - I'm doing Rent the Runway for my upcoming trips because I don't need to own anymore clothes.
I remember when I began pondering the costs of having my first child, one of my friends passed along some sage advice. He said “you’ll never be able to afford a child on paper, but when you have a child, you figure it out”. After rearing 5, that has been my experience. You figure it out. I stopped or drastically slowed down on flying r/c and golf. But I wouldn’t change a thing😉. You have this!
Oooh! Thanks for the book rec. Our 2022 was open to more treat-yo-selfing than others, (especially in the sustainable clothing brands offering deep discounts category... saying no to fast fashion is good, but we took it a little far this year, haha..). Our goal for 2023 is to only buy 5 things or less in that department—shoes, hats, all the things included. I'm so excited, as I love a good challenge! Looking forward to hearing you you do with your goal through 2023!
One of the best things about living out of a backpack for five years is the inability to buy things. But this year we have vowed to buy more experiences because a) those are truly valuable and b) we can actually afford them.
Every year I try doing the year of not buying but end up having a really hard time with it. You’ve inspired me to try again and use your tips! Impulse book buying has become a serious problem because I got out of the habit of using the library during the pandemic but now I have over 100 I own and haven’t read and I need to fix that!
Thanks for sharing this! I think about this all the time - I am a shopping addict and always enthralled by what others have and wanting to create a vibe, style or outfit that resonates. I've actually found great solace in the Fashion Substack space learning so much more about second hand shopping and recommendations and how you should shop (making sure you can style something 5 different ways for example).
Anyways, the scarcity mindset that Ezra Klein talked about in a recent podcast interview really speaks to this whole experience too! How can we sit with NOT having something and using that to learn what we actually need. I think about a no-buy month all the time when it comes to clothes and have done it once before and should probably do it again! Thanks for sharing all of this - definitely going to look into you other articles more and read Ann Patchett's book!
“Hard to ignore a sign so loud as your own bristling.”
I feel attacked, and I guess that’s the point 😂
Thank you for the reminder of all the ways to get that dopamine rush, and of how good it will feel to have a little more space and to know that things are on their way to new adventures.
I loved waking up to the new year and reading this Kelton! I've decided after several months of reading your post to gift myself a subscription to Shangrilogs, the first substack newsletter I'm committing to financially (I can't promise for how long though sorry!). I've decided it would be like buying you a cup of coffee to say "thank you for the great reads and inspiration to write more myself".
Also, a few tips in terms of reducing consumption - I'm not sure you'll have access to charity shops in your small town but I replaced a lot of my "shopping" with the occasional browsing of thrift shops when I was living in London. Luckily London is full of abundance, and I was able to snag things like a cashmere jumper for a meer $15 or so. I also enjoyed discovered the art of gifting and was absorbed for a while in the concept of "gift economy". All those things you clean out might be someone else's treasure, or organise a neighbour swap and see what can be exchanged. Again, a real delight to read this. I wish you a fruitfully consumption reduced 2023.
I listened to “These Precious Days” and fell in love with Ann Patchett, with her words, and her wit, and her heart. If your library offers audiobooks I think it would be worthwhile to listen to her narrate it. Or borrow the audiobook “This is the Story of a Happy Marriage.” More excellent essays in that one.
I’m on the lower (lowest?) end of the income brackets in my 55+ community and I feel it all of the time. My friends here don’t flaunt their relative wealth, but seeing their things and hearing of their many travels can be hard. Our budget opened up a little at the end of the year, so I started buying things like kitchen towels just because I wanted something new. Your essay makes me pause and wonder if those things truly are what I want. Something along the lines of, if I can’t go on an Alaskan cruise am I really okay with new kitchen towels? How many new kitchen towels would equal a cruise?
What is it I REALLY want?
I would like to make sure this fabulous line does not go unnoticed: "If you’re not placating the feral children, you are provoking them." Bravo.
Happy New Year to you, and to Mr. Cooper and his friends.
My bookshelves are full, and three piles of books have accumulated nearby. So I resolved to reduce them by half this week.
I selected 8 books, and carried them to the car, feeling accomplished. But my wife grabbed two and stashed them in the laundry.
At the donation box, I dropped my 6 books in, feeling like I was abandoning a pet. Then I was overcome with second thoughts, and pulled back 2 books, and stood there re-reading favorite passages.
In all, I gave away only 4 books, and I miss them already. (Maybe I’ll find another copy at a used bookstore someday.) Robert
I love this reminder that less is more.... to see what you have anew.... rotate where you have your vases or paintings so you actually "see" them again because they are in a new place.... I'm going to the liquor store to get boxes so I can curate my closet of clothes I never wear anymore due to my taste, or I've outgrown them and I know I'm not going to be a size 6 again! (wishful thinking). I have tons of shoes for business travel - now that I'm retired - I'm not wearing them.... so out they go to the free bin. I've already purged books - but could do a second round. I know I'm not going to read most of them again. (But I can't seem to give up the complete works of Mark Twain that I did read in order once).
I also like your exceptions list... anything too rigid never works. My word for the year is "Be Curious" or "Wondering... So, thinking as I learn new skills - I wonder what I need to change to start to master this skill, or "I wonder why someone said that"... to ask more questions and not make assumptions... so I can add to my list "I wonder what it would be like to do without this... how would it really change my life" or "I wonder if I really need this or just want it? Is there something else I can use?" Words have power and I'm loving the idea of thinking this way and combining it with doing more with less. Thanks, as always, for provoking deeper thinking!
Baby stuff is such a scam. There is so much crap you're encouraged to buy and you buy it because not buying it means you don't want the best for your kids? We never got a crib just a pack and play with a mattress and it was the best decision ever. Never did up a baby room because we didn't have the room. There is so much stuff you can rent (babyquip) or buy gently used on FB marketplace. For clothes too - I'm doing Rent the Runway for my upcoming trips because I don't need to own anymore clothes.
I remember when I began pondering the costs of having my first child, one of my friends passed along some sage advice. He said “you’ll never be able to afford a child on paper, but when you have a child, you figure it out”. After rearing 5, that has been my experience. You figure it out. I stopped or drastically slowed down on flying r/c and golf. But I wouldn’t change a thing😉. You have this!
Oooh! Thanks for the book rec. Our 2022 was open to more treat-yo-selfing than others, (especially in the sustainable clothing brands offering deep discounts category... saying no to fast fashion is good, but we took it a little far this year, haha..). Our goal for 2023 is to only buy 5 things or less in that department—shoes, hats, all the things included. I'm so excited, as I love a good challenge! Looking forward to hearing you you do with your goal through 2023!
One of the best things about living out of a backpack for five years is the inability to buy things. But this year we have vowed to buy more experiences because a) those are truly valuable and b) we can actually afford them.
Thank you for sharing! My word finally came to me today: Movement.
And I agree, 2023 sounds ugly!
Every year I try doing the year of not buying but end up having a really hard time with it. You’ve inspired me to try again and use your tips! Impulse book buying has become a serious problem because I got out of the habit of using the library during the pandemic but now I have over 100 I own and haven’t read and I need to fix that!
Beautiful essay! Incredible way to start the year, especially as a delayed gratification fellow Capricorn 😊
TENACIOUSLY JOYOUS! joyful tenacity
Thanks for sharing this! I think about this all the time - I am a shopping addict and always enthralled by what others have and wanting to create a vibe, style or outfit that resonates. I've actually found great solace in the Fashion Substack space learning so much more about second hand shopping and recommendations and how you should shop (making sure you can style something 5 different ways for example).
Anyways, the scarcity mindset that Ezra Klein talked about in a recent podcast interview really speaks to this whole experience too! How can we sit with NOT having something and using that to learn what we actually need. I think about a no-buy month all the time when it comes to clothes and have done it once before and should probably do it again! Thanks for sharing all of this - definitely going to look into you other articles more and read Ann Patchett's book!
“Hard to ignore a sign so loud as your own bristling.”
I feel attacked, and I guess that’s the point 😂
Thank you for the reminder of all the ways to get that dopamine rush, and of how good it will feel to have a little more space and to know that things are on their way to new adventures.
this was every(thing)!
I loved waking up to the new year and reading this Kelton! I've decided after several months of reading your post to gift myself a subscription to Shangrilogs, the first substack newsletter I'm committing to financially (I can't promise for how long though sorry!). I've decided it would be like buying you a cup of coffee to say "thank you for the great reads and inspiration to write more myself".
Also, a few tips in terms of reducing consumption - I'm not sure you'll have access to charity shops in your small town but I replaced a lot of my "shopping" with the occasional browsing of thrift shops when I was living in London. Luckily London is full of abundance, and I was able to snag things like a cashmere jumper for a meer $15 or so. I also enjoyed discovered the art of gifting and was absorbed for a while in the concept of "gift economy". All those things you clean out might be someone else's treasure, or organise a neighbour swap and see what can be exchanged. Again, a real delight to read this. I wish you a fruitfully consumption reduced 2023.