I just had my own foster-turned-permanent adventure -- after going through my previous cat's sudden and horrendously expensive death in February, I though fostering was a great plan. Then the first cat I picked up in late March was an emaciated uncontrolled diabetic in rough shape, who turned to be a perfect cat (when not being a gremlin), and also the shelter/vet were extremely underwhelming, to the point where even if he wasn't perfect I probably would have adopted him just to be able to get him better vet care? *sigh*
No regrets, though, because he's the best. (Except at 5:00am when he is -- gently -- chewing on my head and pawing my face to get his breakfast an hour early.)
I hate that we’ve coined the term “foster fail/ure.” It implies some moral shortcoming. Isn’t the goal to find a loving home for the animal? And if that home is found in a foster, who are we to blame and shame?
In the earliest days of the pandemic, my husband and I adopted a puppy. I agonized the day before we picked her up. In tears, I pleaded to know, “Are we doing the right thing?”
She was the sweetest, cutest pit mix. Snuggly. Smart. Loved our cats. Generous with kisses. The other thing that was generous? My anxiety. Despite having two cats already, my anxious tendencies went into overdrive. I what if’d my way through the next 48 hours, my heart rate never dipping below 80. I could not function as a sane human being with this puppy.
We ended up returning her to her foster mom, who had missed her so much. She was heartbroken when we picked up the pup two days before. She was elated when we brought her back.
Several years on and she’s living a blissful life with that same foster mom. I comfort myself with the knowledge that had anyone else adopted her, the foster mom likely wouldn’t have seen her again. Was it a failure or a success? I like to think that puppy believes it was the latter. I sure do.
You sound like a friend who, whenever her husband travels for work, becomes a housekeeping, mothering extraordinaire. I kinda believe we all have a particular order to things. But I think women have been infected with the busy gene. The-things-must-look-just-so gene. The overachieving gene. It's exhausting. Salute to your little kitten pacer!
Needed this today as I’m dealing with the never ending cycle of daycare plague with my 2 kids. As a fellow Capricorn, I take my wife being sick or working as an alarm to DO ALL THE THINGS instead of doing the things that matter. Thank you ♥️♥️
This had me chuckling, but with lots of sympathy to ya'll and your never-ending tendency to swap injury mode. I hope he has a speedy recovery ... and crossfit teaches you to pace yourself :)
I love this idea of pacing as caring for yourself. I needed to read this, too, and remember it as we enter the season when my partner is gone for weeks at a time and I balance all the care/chores with work and training and remembering to be generous to myself.
I just had my own foster-turned-permanent adventure -- after going through my previous cat's sudden and horrendously expensive death in February, I though fostering was a great plan. Then the first cat I picked up in late March was an emaciated uncontrolled diabetic in rough shape, who turned to be a perfect cat (when not being a gremlin), and also the shelter/vet were extremely underwhelming, to the point where even if he wasn't perfect I probably would have adopted him just to be able to get him better vet care? *sigh*
No regrets, though, because he's the best. (Except at 5:00am when he is -- gently -- chewing on my head and pawing my face to get his breakfast an hour early.)
I hate that we’ve coined the term “foster fail/ure.” It implies some moral shortcoming. Isn’t the goal to find a loving home for the animal? And if that home is found in a foster, who are we to blame and shame?
In the earliest days of the pandemic, my husband and I adopted a puppy. I agonized the day before we picked her up. In tears, I pleaded to know, “Are we doing the right thing?”
She was the sweetest, cutest pit mix. Snuggly. Smart. Loved our cats. Generous with kisses. The other thing that was generous? My anxiety. Despite having two cats already, my anxious tendencies went into overdrive. I what if’d my way through the next 48 hours, my heart rate never dipping below 80. I could not function as a sane human being with this puppy.
We ended up returning her to her foster mom, who had missed her so much. She was heartbroken when we picked up the pup two days before. She was elated when we brought her back.
Several years on and she’s living a blissful life with that same foster mom. I comfort myself with the knowledge that had anyone else adopted her, the foster mom likely wouldn’t have seen her again. Was it a failure or a success? I like to think that puppy believes it was the latter. I sure do.
A very comfortable kitten!
I can identify so much! I needed to read that, the need to achieve needs to be paced. Hope Ben heals well and quickly.
You sound like a friend who, whenever her husband travels for work, becomes a housekeeping, mothering extraordinaire. I kinda believe we all have a particular order to things. But I think women have been infected with the busy gene. The-things-must-look-just-so gene. The overachieving gene. It's exhausting. Salute to your little kitten pacer!
Needed this today as I’m dealing with the never ending cycle of daycare plague with my 2 kids. As a fellow Capricorn, I take my wife being sick or working as an alarm to DO ALL THE THINGS instead of doing the things that matter. Thank you ♥️♥️
This had me chuckling, but with lots of sympathy to ya'll and your never-ending tendency to swap injury mode. I hope he has a speedy recovery ... and crossfit teaches you to pace yourself :)
I’m so tickled by the kitty keyboard note!
I love this idea of pacing as caring for yourself. I needed to read this, too, and remember it as we enter the season when my partner is gone for weeks at a time and I balance all the care/chores with work and training and remembering to be generous to myself.
I love this and needed to read it. Thank you. I hope Ben heals quickly and that you get to rest, too.
Foster Fail FOR SURE! To cute to quit.