I really giggled at your interaction with the young girl on the plane who asked about your tattoos. I’ve found for myself that when people react to your choices with “are you sure? You may regret that!” only reflects their own grappling with that decision. Even tho I’ve known forever that I don’t want to ever be pregnant, when I decided to get my tubes tied during a laparoscopic surgery for my endo, I wanted to make “sure sure” and threw it out there to friends to see how people would react — and how I’d respond. And SO many people told me I was crazy or making a hasty decision (sure, Jan, a hasty decision only three decades in the making 🙄) or that I’d regret it. Which, to their dumb credit, helped me know for sure that I would NOT. I know people are just projecting, but the degree to which it happened was striking. I’m glad you know yourself so well—I am lovingly continuing to get to know myself well enough, too ❤️
When I commented on A birth story - #134, I was up at midnight nursing my five day old and wondering if I had made a giant mistake, deciding to have a kid (I still feel ashamed admitting this).
Now I’m cradling my napping 10 week old (and surrounded by two napping dogs) and while I still wonder about a child-free life unlived, I cannot imagine my life without this little person.
Regret is a fickle beast that likes to prey on my uncertainty and fears. Luckily with time, its power dulls and fades. And in its void, gratitude grows.
Thank you for your thoughtful writing and though we don’t know each other, for walking on this new parenting path alongside me.
Happy Holidays hibernating with all your various ’cubs’. It sounds so cozy and loving. I sure miss being bookended by two cats. The more species the merrier!
Thanks for making me think about regrets, and I love your Best list. I regret few things, and even those things (like a two-year graduate program at UC Berkeley that made me feel like shit and resulted in a fizzled career) had an upside (moving to Berkeley).
I’m not sure there is anything more satisfying than knowing a 14-year-old girl thinks your tattoo is cool. Happy early birthday ✨💖
Gotta agree.
True dat!!!
The couch did not deserve it 😂
This is such gorgeousness. Your words are fuel. Loving you and your insides sis!
An excellent essay! Being your own cool aunt is the best.
I, too, was surprised to become a co-sleeper. I wouldn't change it. Happy new year x
I really giggled at your interaction with the young girl on the plane who asked about your tattoos. I’ve found for myself that when people react to your choices with “are you sure? You may regret that!” only reflects their own grappling with that decision. Even tho I’ve known forever that I don’t want to ever be pregnant, when I decided to get my tubes tied during a laparoscopic surgery for my endo, I wanted to make “sure sure” and threw it out there to friends to see how people would react — and how I’d respond. And SO many people told me I was crazy or making a hasty decision (sure, Jan, a hasty decision only three decades in the making 🙄) or that I’d regret it. Which, to their dumb credit, helped me know for sure that I would NOT. I know people are just projecting, but the degree to which it happened was striking. I’m glad you know yourself so well—I am lovingly continuing to get to know myself well enough, too ❤️
"a hasty decision only three decades in the making" so good.
PS I’ve prob told that story before, but I like to repeat myself because I am an old woman.
No you don't
Just come in to get my assignment for living room and peace of mind for start-up company.
When I commented on A birth story - #134, I was up at midnight nursing my five day old and wondering if I had made a giant mistake, deciding to have a kid (I still feel ashamed admitting this).
Now I’m cradling my napping 10 week old (and surrounded by two napping dogs) and while I still wonder about a child-free life unlived, I cannot imagine my life without this little person.
Regret is a fickle beast that likes to prey on my uncertainty and fears. Luckily with time, its power dulls and fades. And in its void, gratitude grows.
Thank you for your thoughtful writing and though we don’t know each other, for walking on this new parenting path alongside me.
Happy Holidays hibernating with all your various ’cubs’. It sounds so cozy and loving. I sure miss being bookended by two cats. The more species the merrier!
Never regretted turning down the CIA. Or did I?
I think of that anesthesiologist at least weekly since you told this story and laugh (my kid likes to dance to Harry Bellafonte, so it’s on a lot)
Love this. Thanks!!!
Thanks for making me think about regrets, and I love your Best list. I regret few things, and even those things (like a two-year graduate program at UC Berkeley that made me feel like shit and resulted in a fizzled career) had an upside (moving to Berkeley).
Love the whole piece - again appreciating your writing and observations but especially liked the roles assigned in the credits for the year.