I love your honesty, Kelton. As someone who also sucks at throwing darts, throwing spaghetti at the wall seems to come with the known failure of a bunch of noodles inevitably hitting the floor. The fun is in the ones that stick, while the pile on the floor is evidence of testing your comfort zone (something so many people are too afraid to even attempt).
I hope your choir experience is a surprisingly fun one, maybe akin to Moira's in the Jazzagals! 🥰
I love this reframe with the spaghetti! Going to keep it in mind as I also keep throwing noodles and seeing what sticks, and what is evidence of an attempt. And I kept thinking of the Jazzagals, too 🙃
A good friend of mine encouraged me to "just keep throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks!" when i was losing my shit over some personal stuff 5 years ago. I've held that metaphor close ever since! 😄 Glad you can relate!
Just stopping here to say being asked to play in my old high school wind symphony and not being able to read the music let alone have any kind of embouchure is a recurring nightmare for me. And I had to look up embouchure because I forgot the spelling! Anyways, good for you for giving it a go.
Sep 13, 2023·edited Sep 13, 2023Liked by Kelton Wright
If I could go back in time and tell my younger self just one thing, it would be 'it's OK to enjoy things you're not good at. You can just like it'. I quit so many things because I wasn't good at them, and it makes me sad. Fortunately now I'm firmly middle aged and have no fucks to give, I'm trying some of them again. But what a shame I didn't keep doing them all this time.
I don't think this applies to you because it sounds like you CAN sing and if anything are just a little rusty. And if that's the case I'm sure the rust will soon wear off. Either way, I hope you enjoy choir - there's something very human and joyful about singing with others, whether you're good at it or not.
I admire your courage! Truly. I'm throwing metaphorical darts over here, as evidenced by my visiting a tennis center yesterday to inquire about membership and tour the facility in hopes of potentially joining. The thing is, I don't quite play tennis but imitate a close facsimile of it? When I said I have a good serve, my husband's response was, "That's not serving." Ouch. During my tour, I watched people play on the courts and longed to be able to imitate what I saw there—their strength, their confidence, even their cute tennis outfits. The employee who showed me around praised the round robins and flex matches, saying how both are a great way to meet people and make friends. Who will want to play with me, I wondered, when I can barely hit the ball in the intended direction? I undoubtedly need private lessons and many clinics before I can actually play a real game, and then there's the issue of understanding the scoring progression. Am I better off just having fun at my local courts instead of trying to make this something I'm good at? Am I delusional to think I'm going to improve and meet people who will want to play with someone who needs 50 tries to execute any sort of offered advice or direction? The doubt, it is so real.
So funny - I may be moving to a small town and at a recent concert when I said I missed singing, they suggested I join the town choir! Yikes - talk about rusty......love the challenge you find in everything and as my pilates teacher keeps telling me "try your second hardest" .
That’s awesome! I was just thinking about this idea. Returning to something you were once good at but now find yourself very rusty. Eg. I am in France, and I used to be fluent in French. Now I’m struggling to get everything unarchived from my brain. Should I keep going ? Should I abandon and give up? Is it ok to let your skills go? It makes me so sad and nostalgic too. Am I no longer that person?
Good for you for putting yourself out there again!
I just did this when I visited a friend in France in June! Lived there in 2004 and used to be fluent... it's definitely humbling to attempt to revisit something that is locked away in the deep recesses of your brain. I definitely got better day by day there, but nothing like I used to be during my college years! C'est dommage...
what a delight to be underwhelmed by an experience, haha. i recently went to silent book club, wearing a fun dress, thinking i’d meet a ton of likeminded book lovers like me who also think reading silently with other people is an excuse to wear a giant pink dress. nope, in fact the first woman i sat by ended up changing seats when i went to get coffee. 🥴 the second woman who sat by me was wonderful, however, so that was good. but definitely not what i was hoping to experience. in fact, for the first time in awhile i almost felt lonely.
i sincerely hope that by december, you will be regaling us with a story about your tearjerking solo that earned you the nickname “nightingale” around town. you never know!!!!
I feel seen. I’m starting an art class tomorrow. And I might go back to music. Because if there’s one thing a decade of cycling has taught me, it’s that I can REALLY suck at something and still enjoy it. Stick with it. “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor.” (I think Anne Lamont as delivered by yesterday’s yoga instructor.)
This definitely made me smile and nod and sigh and inspect my own motivations. I moved to Ridgway (hi, neighbor!) after college back in 2004, promptly joined a church choir up in Montrose (because I used to sing in college in the midwest and singing in a choir is just WHAT YOU DO you know?)...and then after a year gave it up, never to rejoin. I keep thinking I should join the local church choir here in town & totally haven't done it - largely for the same reasons you're now examining yourself. This may be motivating me to give it a shot though. :)
You can't ever tell how things are going to turn out, or lead to other things. Life is seldom what we expect: this is at least in part because our expectations/imaginations aren't really up to capturing reality. One thing we can know for sure is that when everything, including you, is completely different from what it was (and you were) 15 years ago, a thing you do now isn't going to be like it was 15 years ago.
My latest social dart is joining Kiwanis. I never would have guessed it 15 years ago, but I'm enjoying interacting with people in different places in their lives, and we're raising money for good causes. And the weekly guest speakers -- some of whom I already knew from other contexts -- are an always interesting bonus.
I love your honesty, Kelton. As someone who also sucks at throwing darts, throwing spaghetti at the wall seems to come with the known failure of a bunch of noodles inevitably hitting the floor. The fun is in the ones that stick, while the pile on the floor is evidence of testing your comfort zone (something so many people are too afraid to even attempt).
I hope your choir experience is a surprisingly fun one, maybe akin to Moira's in the Jazzagals! 🥰
I love this reframe with the spaghetti! Going to keep it in mind as I also keep throwing noodles and seeing what sticks, and what is evidence of an attempt. And I kept thinking of the Jazzagals, too 🙃
A good friend of mine encouraged me to "just keep throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks!" when i was losing my shit over some personal stuff 5 years ago. I've held that metaphor close ever since! 😄 Glad you can relate!
I’m glad you joined this choir! Maybe hitting the target is not the point, but maybe aiming in the right direction is enough.
Just stopping here to say being asked to play in my old high school wind symphony and not being able to read the music let alone have any kind of embouchure is a recurring nightmare for me. And I had to look up embouchure because I forgot the spelling! Anyways, good for you for giving it a go.
I had to look up embouchure because I didn’t know what it was lol
If I could go back in time and tell my younger self just one thing, it would be 'it's OK to enjoy things you're not good at. You can just like it'. I quit so many things because I wasn't good at them, and it makes me sad. Fortunately now I'm firmly middle aged and have no fucks to give, I'm trying some of them again. But what a shame I didn't keep doing them all this time.
I don't think this applies to you because it sounds like you CAN sing and if anything are just a little rusty. And if that's the case I'm sure the rust will soon wear off. Either way, I hope you enjoy choir - there's something very human and joyful about singing with others, whether you're good at it or not.
I admire your courage! Truly. I'm throwing metaphorical darts over here, as evidenced by my visiting a tennis center yesterday to inquire about membership and tour the facility in hopes of potentially joining. The thing is, I don't quite play tennis but imitate a close facsimile of it? When I said I have a good serve, my husband's response was, "That's not serving." Ouch. During my tour, I watched people play on the courts and longed to be able to imitate what I saw there—their strength, their confidence, even their cute tennis outfits. The employee who showed me around praised the round robins and flex matches, saying how both are a great way to meet people and make friends. Who will want to play with me, I wondered, when I can barely hit the ball in the intended direction? I undoubtedly need private lessons and many clinics before I can actually play a real game, and then there's the issue of understanding the scoring progression. Am I better off just having fun at my local courts instead of trying to make this something I'm good at? Am I delusional to think I'm going to improve and meet people who will want to play with someone who needs 50 tries to execute any sort of offered advice or direction? The doubt, it is so real.
So funny - I may be moving to a small town and at a recent concert when I said I missed singing, they suggested I join the town choir! Yikes - talk about rusty......love the challenge you find in everything and as my pilates teacher keeps telling me "try your second hardest" .
I love that "try your second hardest!"
try your second hardest. gosh that makes me smile from the inside.
That’s awesome! I was just thinking about this idea. Returning to something you were once good at but now find yourself very rusty. Eg. I am in France, and I used to be fluent in French. Now I’m struggling to get everything unarchived from my brain. Should I keep going ? Should I abandon and give up? Is it ok to let your skills go? It makes me so sad and nostalgic too. Am I no longer that person?
Good for you for putting yourself out there again!
I just did this when I visited a friend in France in June! Lived there in 2004 and used to be fluent... it's definitely humbling to attempt to revisit something that is locked away in the deep recesses of your brain. I definitely got better day by day there, but nothing like I used to be during my college years! C'est dommage...
Yes! It makes me so sad, but I’m trying to remember that I can still love speaking French even if I’m not fluent 🥰
what a delight to be underwhelmed by an experience, haha. i recently went to silent book club, wearing a fun dress, thinking i’d meet a ton of likeminded book lovers like me who also think reading silently with other people is an excuse to wear a giant pink dress. nope, in fact the first woman i sat by ended up changing seats when i went to get coffee. 🥴 the second woman who sat by me was wonderful, however, so that was good. but definitely not what i was hoping to experience. in fact, for the first time in awhile i almost felt lonely.
i sincerely hope that by december, you will be regaling us with a story about your tearjerking solo that earned you the nickname “nightingale” around town. you never know!!!!
I feel seen. I’m starting an art class tomorrow. And I might go back to music. Because if there’s one thing a decade of cycling has taught me, it’s that I can REALLY suck at something and still enjoy it. Stick with it. “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor.” (I think Anne Lamont as delivered by yesterday’s yoga instructor.)
Me. Chess club. Same, except I bounced after one meeting. May your perseverance be rewarded!
This definitely made me smile and nod and sigh and inspect my own motivations. I moved to Ridgway (hi, neighbor!) after college back in 2004, promptly joined a church choir up in Montrose (because I used to sing in college in the midwest and singing in a choir is just WHAT YOU DO you know?)...and then after a year gave it up, never to rejoin. I keep thinking I should join the local church choir here in town & totally haven't done it - largely for the same reasons you're now examining yourself. This may be motivating me to give it a shot though. :)
Oh, looking forward to hearing more about this - especially to hearing how practice helps bring your rusty voice back!
Good for you!
You can't ever tell how things are going to turn out, or lead to other things. Life is seldom what we expect: this is at least in part because our expectations/imaginations aren't really up to capturing reality. One thing we can know for sure is that when everything, including you, is completely different from what it was (and you were) 15 years ago, a thing you do now isn't going to be like it was 15 years ago.
My latest social dart is joining Kiwanis. I never would have guessed it 15 years ago, but I'm enjoying interacting with people in different places in their lives, and we're raising money for good causes. And the weekly guest speakers -- some of whom I already knew from other contexts -- are an always interesting bonus.
I liked "If Tha Mood," but I don't think you spell it like that. 8=)