Wonderful piece, thank you. Particularly felt the section on diversity (and lack thereof). Recently moved from a mountain region in Utah to a quiet area of coastal Australia and am facing the same concerns I did in Utah: mostly amazing people, many of whom are not particularly diverse, and some of whom are actively racist. I also don’t want my two sons to grow up without exposure to diverse backgrounds. It’s definitely a struggle. Anyway, appreciate you and your posts.
My husband and I *almost* moved to a mountain town with our two small kids during the pandemic so we could go the climbing/skinning/trail running thing easier … and then our preschooler let us know she was trans. Sudden huge pro to staying in the Bay Area where there’s queer community, medical access, and a population that is much more welcoming of heterogeneity than any mountain town can manage. Maybe when the kids have flown the nest…
I feel this, Jaclyn. My oldest son is gay and when he mentioned wanting to live with his boyfriend in a mountain community near Estes, I told him to make sure it's queer-friendly first (and I doubt this one was). He's now looking for a house near us and we've had some similar conversations.
The math you have to do, especially with trans kids, is rough on the psyche and heart. I raised my kids in a small town northwest of Chicago and it is thankfully queer and trans-friendly with a vibrant LGBTQ+ community. They are extremely introverted and don't care for cities, and we've had to talk with them about how to determine whether a place is safe for them to thrive. Cities, college towns, and the odd small town like ours.
As someone who fantasizes about moving away from this state I have lived my whole life - I love how you break this down. Because there is no perfect place with all pros and no cons. Only the right ones for you and cons that you can live with because it is not a deal breaker (or the pros outweigh it all).
I could have written a very similar list about my slightly larger mountain town (the traffic here is deer and wild turkeys)—except I love April. A month when I can trail run in actual dirt in the morning and spring ski in the afternoon and start seeds in the evening? Bliss. (Am I maybe romanticizing it because it’s far away and I’m busy being all dazzled by fall? Perhaps.)
Also the “is this what you do for fun?” question—maybe the quickest way to see whether a place is a good fit or not!
Another great piece. I get the restaurant thing but I now count myself as lucky to be able to cook: it's the only time when I can prepare healthy food whose origins I'm certain of. We just spent time in Northern Cali and I don't know how people afford going out to eat so often, either. Copy/paste humans rocked. Brilliant. Being travelers, we see it all the time, like in California por ejemplo. Also, being the kind of guy who would wear David S. Pumpkins suits to Church, I was fully prepared to like that few-days-a-year jacket, but yeah, it's hid. The turn signal problem is also universal: the first thing my wife's driving instructor said to her was "First blink, THEN pull over." The 30+ years since then have proven that there are gaziliions of people out there who haven't gotten that message yet. Bravo Kelton.
What a beautiful commentary on home! "I loved living here before I ever did. That’s how I knew. And that’s why it worked." It's such a big question of what home is, something I've been thinking about incessantly for weeks, months, years?? don't we all? But here you've summed it up - a place where you've been at home before you even knew where it was. Reminds me of a lyric in a song by a rapper called Dessa who said "Fell in love with language, tried to tell the grown-ups // About the storm clouds, the weather in my head // Hadn't heard the word for melancholy yet" and it echoes the same energy. Maybe we embody what we need or are before we have found the language or the place.
Thanks for sharing a beautiful post on small town living!
If you get a chance to listen to the song, its called Children's Work and it's got a haunting background. Not as bone chilling as Matches to Paper Dolls which is also marvelous. You weren't looking for rap song recommendations but. There ya have it. 😆
No place is perfect, and there are risks to everything. Kudos to you for nevertheless pursuing something alternative and living simply. For me, somewhat chained to LA because of kids + in-laws + parents, it's inspiring. We plan on living abroad for a bit while they're still young, and we can still escape.
I saw graffiti in a bathroom near Denali in 1996 that read: Alaskan men: The odds are good and the goods are odd. It's got me wondering who first coined this phrase, because that's how my brain works.
From the women: The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
From the men: She’s not your girlfriend, it’s just your turn.
This is so good. I eat at five restaurants and it’s always basically “the roost or Kinsley or Ollie’s” and if we’re feeling WILD upstate tacos or the one sushi place. It can get old but we never spend more than two minutes thinking about where to eat 😭
Ok but like tell me more about the hot dentist
listen...
Wonderful piece, thank you. Particularly felt the section on diversity (and lack thereof). Recently moved from a mountain region in Utah to a quiet area of coastal Australia and am facing the same concerns I did in Utah: mostly amazing people, many of whom are not particularly diverse, and some of whom are actively racist. I also don’t want my two sons to grow up without exposure to diverse backgrounds. It’s definitely a struggle. Anyway, appreciate you and your posts.
We lived in Loveland, Colorado and it was the same thing: nothing but white people. Coming from the Chicago area, it felt creepy.
My husband and I *almost* moved to a mountain town with our two small kids during the pandemic so we could go the climbing/skinning/trail running thing easier … and then our preschooler let us know she was trans. Sudden huge pro to staying in the Bay Area where there’s queer community, medical access, and a population that is much more welcoming of heterogeneity than any mountain town can manage. Maybe when the kids have flown the nest…
God that's the truth. Y'all are great parents.
I feel this, Jaclyn. My oldest son is gay and when he mentioned wanting to live with his boyfriend in a mountain community near Estes, I told him to make sure it's queer-friendly first (and I doubt this one was). He's now looking for a house near us and we've had some similar conversations.
The math you have to do, especially with trans kids, is rough on the psyche and heart. I raised my kids in a small town northwest of Chicago and it is thankfully queer and trans-friendly with a vibrant LGBTQ+ community. They are extremely introverted and don't care for cities, and we've had to talk with them about how to determine whether a place is safe for them to thrive. Cities, college towns, and the odd small town like ours.
As someone who fantasizes about moving away from this state I have lived my whole life - I love how you break this down. Because there is no perfect place with all pros and no cons. Only the right ones for you and cons that you can live with because it is not a deal breaker (or the pros outweigh it all).
Exactly 💛
I could have written a very similar list about my slightly larger mountain town (the traffic here is deer and wild turkeys)—except I love April. A month when I can trail run in actual dirt in the morning and spring ski in the afternoon and start seeds in the evening? Bliss. (Am I maybe romanticizing it because it’s far away and I’m busy being all dazzled by fall? Perhaps.)
Also the “is this what you do for fun?” question—maybe the quickest way to see whether a place is a good fit or not!
So true about the fun question.
I like everything about this, but most remarkably I had to google marmots and now I'm in love.
Aren't they wonderful?
Ridiculously cute, albeit murderous.
A thousand percent part of the charm.
Another great piece. I get the restaurant thing but I now count myself as lucky to be able to cook: it's the only time when I can prepare healthy food whose origins I'm certain of. We just spent time in Northern Cali and I don't know how people afford going out to eat so often, either. Copy/paste humans rocked. Brilliant. Being travelers, we see it all the time, like in California por ejemplo. Also, being the kind of guy who would wear David S. Pumpkins suits to Church, I was fully prepared to like that few-days-a-year jacket, but yeah, it's hid. The turn signal problem is also universal: the first thing my wife's driving instructor said to her was "First blink, THEN pull over." The 30+ years since then have proven that there are gaziliions of people out there who haven't gotten that message yet. Bravo Kelton.
Turn signals is absolutely the hill I will rant on. Glad you agree!
Yes, m'am!
What a beautiful commentary on home! "I loved living here before I ever did. That’s how I knew. And that’s why it worked." It's such a big question of what home is, something I've been thinking about incessantly for weeks, months, years?? don't we all? But here you've summed it up - a place where you've been at home before you even knew where it was. Reminds me of a lyric in a song by a rapper called Dessa who said "Fell in love with language, tried to tell the grown-ups // About the storm clouds, the weather in my head // Hadn't heard the word for melancholy yet" and it echoes the same energy. Maybe we embody what we need or are before we have found the language or the place.
Thanks for sharing a beautiful post on small town living!
Ooh that you for sharing those lyrics — they're beautiful
If you get a chance to listen to the song, its called Children's Work and it's got a haunting background. Not as bone chilling as Matches to Paper Dolls which is also marvelous. You weren't looking for rap song recommendations but. There ya have it. 😆
No place is perfect, and there are risks to everything. Kudos to you for nevertheless pursuing something alternative and living simply. For me, somewhat chained to LA because of kids + in-laws + parents, it's inspiring. We plan on living abroad for a bit while they're still young, and we can still escape.
I think there are different places for different seasons of life. I am wondering what season I’m
In right now in Napoli 🌋
The last couple of grafs? Magic.
I saw graffiti in a bathroom near Denali in 1996 that read: Alaskan men: The odds are good and the goods are odd. It's got me wondering who first coined this phrase, because that's how my brain works.
Spot on with the description of April and May in a mountain town. 🤔
Not sure what a CSA box is. Maybe I'm not old enough? Sorry you are still not feeling well.
a CSA is community supported agriculture - people pay into a farm and in return they get whatever produce is good that week in a box.
This is wonderful - and I'm sorry you are still ill!
Getting there!
You’re always an interesting read. Smart and funny.
Hah! Thanks Jayne!
Oh my god I can verify this:
From the women: The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
From the men: She’s not your girlfriend, it’s just your turn.
This is so good. I eat at five restaurants and it’s always basically “the roost or Kinsley or Ollie’s” and if we’re feeling WILD upstate tacos or the one sushi place. It can get old but we never spend more than two minutes thinking about where to eat 😭
Haha if we’re feeling WILD, we consider driving 30 minutes to the (small) city for curry or pho.
Hahah yes! REALLY WILD
It makes driving to a city to eat something feel like a real festival 😂