What a love song - all encompassing, passionate and filled with grace. Amazing. No doubt in my mind that you will be a good mom; Ben will be a good dad; and you will be on the path together - hand in hand in hand.
I was just writing about my mom today. When I was younger, I thought I understood what made a good mom and it wasn't anything my mom had.
Now I'm older and I understand how frigging complicated so many things are. My mom did the best she could and I think that ultimately made her a good mom.
I suspect you're going to be a very good mom indeed.
One of the most beautiful aspects in of happiness is to consider and acknowledge it in real time. Even just a split second of realization during a busy life is a touchstone to build on. One can look back with clarity. This is good.
Even in ancient relationships that didn’t last forever, I have fond memories of moments that we knew just how wonderful it was right then, and made sure to note and be grateful. How can I ever forget a perfect breakfast on a balcony overlooking the Mediterranean ’82 when we toasted with our facetious usual “life’s a bitch and then you die”!
I grew out of that LTR, but never forgot the importance of capturing those “this is SO GOOD” moments. It’s like banking those plus times to balance the inevitable negatives the future holds for all of us.
What a beautiful gift you’ve written for Ben. He’s probably shedding a few happy tears along with the rest of us… This is the most awesome Father’s Day epic, so you’ve already got that covered for this year. Well done you!
On some level… they’re missing you too. The love you created is still pulsing out into our world, just like the ancient starlight that is just now reaching Earth.
It’s not lost, it’s very alive in your heart.
Here’s a delicate hug from a nice smelling old stranger. You’ve inspired me to dwell on some specific people this morning and I thank you. 🥰
This is a beautiful and honest piece about the uncertainty and anticipation of becoming a mom. The imagery of the dock and the water is a powerful metaphor. You capture the mix of fear and excitement perfectly. It sounds like you have a strong and supportive partner in Ben, and together you'll be amazing parents. Congratulations!
Yes, you will be a good mom. None of them come with instructions, but you'll figure it out. Think of how dumb our parents were, and we are still here.
My wife and I have an ongoing rift over this issue. We both agree we made some mistakes, but I try to convince her that, if some malevolent force were to hand us an infant today, OF COURSE we would do it differently. We are a lot smarter now than we were almost 30 years ago.
We made the best decisions we could at the time, based on the best information and resources we had at that moment.
Praise be. You will be (and already are) an extraordinary mom to be sure. Thank you for sharing such words of love and hope. Always looking up to you <3
I love this paragraph: "Will I be the kind of mom that he talks about in therapy in twenty years? Will I be the kind of mom he calls just because? Or will I be the kind of mom that garners a deep sigh when he sees my name on the phone? Will I be lame because I won’t ski the steep stuff? Will I be cool because I ski at all? Will I be someone he likes, someone he dreads, someone he respects?" The answer is YES to all (except probably not "someone he dreads"). I am happy my son acts all these ways toward me. You will be imperfect. You may even be crazy and inappropriate, as my mom was (I was just this morning recalling her gifts to me, including the book "Thin Thighs in Thirty Days" and a carton of Camel Lights.) But he will turn out OK and he will love you!
OKAY, this is beautiful. I think starting your motherhood journey with a love letter to your partner bodes extremely well. I am so excited for you and Ben and the new guy!
The fact that you are asking, sincerely, these questions, almost guarantees you’ll work at it. And that’s really all any kid wants, is to have their mom/dad put in the time (work) to know and celebrate them.
One of my wife’s favorite gurus (she’s a therapist) says that if we get it right 50% of the time, our kids will be ok. I like that goal MUCH better than the perfection I set as a goal, so I could do it “differently than my folks did.” We have launched 4 of the 5 (the ten year old came later in life😉) and they are loved and respected in their community of friends/in law’s etc. And I shudder sometimes thinking I didn’t even make the 50% grade, but they got my heart/values, and it’s cool seeing them adult.
I’d probably literally be dead (from my own devices/stupidity/trauma) had I not met the love of my life, Julie. It sounds like you found that in Ben.
Thanks for a great installment, and sharing with us such a vulnerable part. Praying for an easy and most wonderful birth.
Jesus, Kelton. I didn’t need to sob this hard before even getting out of bed.
lol my pleasure
Same!!! lol
Beautiful. This is how I feel about my partner as well. I’m a better mom because of him.
💗
What a love song - all encompassing, passionate and filled with grace. Amazing. No doubt in my mind that you will be a good mom; Ben will be a good dad; and you will be on the path together - hand in hand in hand.
I was just writing about my mom today. When I was younger, I thought I understood what made a good mom and it wasn't anything my mom had.
Now I'm older and I understand how frigging complicated so many things are. My mom did the best she could and I think that ultimately made her a good mom.
I suspect you're going to be a very good mom indeed.
🥹🙏🏼
Short answer
Yes.
Long answer;
You bare your soul. And in doing so, look at yourself and what you’re doing.
Teach that. Teach what you love, and in doing so, you teach love.
Teach skiing the bunny slopes, and so teach love for Earth.
Teach breathing cold mountain air and so teach the comfort of silence.
I’m glad you’re better with Ben, the baby will multiply your love
Exponentially imho.
I look forward to commenting when the poop hits behind the diaper bucket!
One of the most beautiful aspects in of happiness is to consider and acknowledge it in real time. Even just a split second of realization during a busy life is a touchstone to build on. One can look back with clarity. This is good.
Even in ancient relationships that didn’t last forever, I have fond memories of moments that we knew just how wonderful it was right then, and made sure to note and be grateful. How can I ever forget a perfect breakfast on a balcony overlooking the Mediterranean ’82 when we toasted with our facetious usual “life’s a bitch and then you die”!
I grew out of that LTR, but never forgot the importance of capturing those “this is SO GOOD” moments. It’s like banking those plus times to balance the inevitable negatives the future holds for all of us.
What a beautiful gift you’ve written for Ben. He’s probably shedding a few happy tears along with the rest of us… This is the most awesome Father’s Day epic, so you’ve already got that covered for this year. Well done you!
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY KELTON!
(get used to it)
Profound. I never missed my mom more than when I lost my partner almost two years ago. Making sure here not to cry on my keyboard
On some level… they’re missing you too. The love you created is still pulsing out into our world, just like the ancient starlight that is just now reaching Earth.
It’s not lost, it’s very alive in your heart.
Here’s a delicate hug from a nice smelling old stranger. You’ve inspired me to dwell on some specific people this morning and I thank you. 🥰
You’ll be a “good enough” Mom. Don’t worry. And don’t try to be a perfect Mom!
This is a beautiful and honest piece about the uncertainty and anticipation of becoming a mom. The imagery of the dock and the water is a powerful metaphor. You capture the mix of fear and excitement perfectly. It sounds like you have a strong and supportive partner in Ben, and together you'll be amazing parents. Congratulations!
Great daughter, great wife/partner and you'll be a great Mom. Slam dunk.
And Ben will be a great Dad!
🙏🏼
Yes, you will be a good mom. None of them come with instructions, but you'll figure it out. Think of how dumb our parents were, and we are still here.
My wife and I have an ongoing rift over this issue. We both agree we made some mistakes, but I try to convince her that, if some malevolent force were to hand us an infant today, OF COURSE we would do it differently. We are a lot smarter now than we were almost 30 years ago.
We made the best decisions we could at the time, based on the best information and resources we had at that moment.
And you will too.
Praise be. You will be (and already are) an extraordinary mom to be sure. Thank you for sharing such words of love and hope. Always looking up to you <3
WOW. What a tribute to your husband! I hope he reads this.
He wept. 💗
That is very sweet. I admire and envy your relationship.
I love this paragraph: "Will I be the kind of mom that he talks about in therapy in twenty years? Will I be the kind of mom he calls just because? Or will I be the kind of mom that garners a deep sigh when he sees my name on the phone? Will I be lame because I won’t ski the steep stuff? Will I be cool because I ski at all? Will I be someone he likes, someone he dreads, someone he respects?" The answer is YES to all (except probably not "someone he dreads"). I am happy my son acts all these ways toward me. You will be imperfect. You may even be crazy and inappropriate, as my mom was (I was just this morning recalling her gifts to me, including the book "Thin Thighs in Thirty Days" and a carton of Camel Lights.) But he will turn out OK and he will love you!
THIN THIGHS IN THIRTY DAYS. Incredible. Appreciate this!
OKAY, this is beautiful. I think starting your motherhood journey with a love letter to your partner bodes extremely well. I am so excited for you and Ben and the new guy!
Exclusively calling him the new guy from here on out
The fact that you are asking, sincerely, these questions, almost guarantees you’ll work at it. And that’s really all any kid wants, is to have their mom/dad put in the time (work) to know and celebrate them.
One of my wife’s favorite gurus (she’s a therapist) says that if we get it right 50% of the time, our kids will be ok. I like that goal MUCH better than the perfection I set as a goal, so I could do it “differently than my folks did.” We have launched 4 of the 5 (the ten year old came later in life😉) and they are loved and respected in their community of friends/in law’s etc. And I shudder sometimes thinking I didn’t even make the 50% grade, but they got my heart/values, and it’s cool seeing them adult.
I’d probably literally be dead (from my own devices/stupidity/trauma) had I not met the love of my life, Julie. It sounds like you found that in Ben.
Thanks for a great installment, and sharing with us such a vulnerable part. Praying for an easy and most wonderful birth.